moving and combining the blog

I figured out last night that I could import both blogs onto wordpress into a single blog, and keep my original post dates. So I'm moving, Now both Overcome by Sorrow and Overcame the Sorrow will be in the same place, under the same username, so people will know it's me.

Everything through last night's post is moved already, but I still have some changes and adjustments to make. I'm not loving the templates over there but I know that's something I can figure out. So far I've got the blog posts in categories so you'll know which blog they came from, but I'm still working on tags, and getting my links up, and so forth. It's a work in progress, just like me. :D

Click here to find the new home for Overcame the Sorrow.

3 years down, 2 to go

Sometime around my birthday 3 years ago I started thinking up my 5 year plan. I didn't have anything definite at the time, but I was thinking.

3 years ago I was still married, but in what turned out to be false reconciliation. It was 6 months after d-day#1 and I knew the reconciliation was not going well. I wasn't ready to even consider the idea that it was false reconciliation, that now-ex was still cheating, that he could see the devastation and pain I was in and still continue to hurt me like that.

But very, very slowly I was inching my way towards processing it all, and accepting that my life had changed/was going to change even more, in ways I never expected. It would take me 3 more months before I was ready to find out the truth and find the secret cell phone, but in March 2009 all I knew was that my 50th birthday (meaning my life at 50) was going to be a hell of a lot different than my 45th.

All things considered, my 45th birthday wasn't all bad. I planned and threw myself a fabulous party. I got shitfaced drinking margaritas and doing tequila shots. I spent the evening with some of the best, most supportive friends a woman can have. But the party was a bubble in time. Outside that bubble, the reality of my life sucked. And that's the life I was already planning on changing, so that it would be different by the time I was 50.

At the time I was still hoping that it would be different because my marriage would be different (aka better) and that my then-husband was sincere in his efforts to work on the marriage. But I also knew I had work to do on myself, and that I needed to make myself a priority in my own life. I wasn't sure what or how I needed to do this, but like I said, I started thinking.

I have to say I really didn't put "the plan" all together until after now-ex walked out on the kids and me, which was a bit over 4 months after my birthday. Oh, I had bits and pieces of it in my head, but I hadn't worked out the entire 5 years. I pulled the pieces together pretty quick when I had to, though.

So....3 years down the line there's a pretty long list of the things I've accomplished. I went back to school. I stabilized life for my kids, and kept them in the only home they've ever known. I got a job. I met someone new and have been in a relationship with him for a little over 2 years now. I was able to afford to replace old appliances in the house. I bought a car. I have a new wardrobe, and oh yeah, I have a whole bunch of sexy and/or cute shoes again.

Believe it or not, all of those were part of my 5 year plan. Now, they didn't all happen when or how I planned, but they happened. The job - that took a lot longer to find than I had planned. The boyfriend? He came along, very unexpectedly, much sooner than I ever considered. The new car - oh yeah, so didn't plan to have to get a new one because my old vehicle got totaled in a wreck. But ya know what, it all worked out for the best. Because of my plans, or maybe despite of them.

And now...I have just about 2 years left of my plan. Two years before I'm 50. I've got more school ahead of me, which changes my original plan, but that's okay because I'm going back after my original degree, if I can.  There may also be some other life changes I'll make that weren't part of the original plan, because...well, because I didn't expect to find love again so early into my plan. That was supposed to be a towards the end of the plan goal. lol

I don't know exactly where I'll be when I turn 50, but I do know that I will have reached the goals I set for myself 3 years ago. I also know I'll be throwing myself another fabulous party, and I will be celebrating with the best, most supportive friends a woman could ever have, old and new. Although, maybe I'll skip the tequila shots this time.

Then again, sometimes ya just never know how plans will work out...:p

reminders...lessons...

I spent most of last weekend with a great group of people from survivinginfidelity.com. It was the first get together I've been to that had a number of genuinely remorseful, veteran waywards in attendance. It was nice to meet people in real life, that were on "the other side" who get it. They understand the depth of the pain. They know the devastation first-hand. And they had the courage and strength to work their way through it and come out the other side.

I needed the reminder. I needed to meet these people, to learn what remorse really looks like, to hear it from them. I had no doubts about their level of remorse prior to meeting them. That's evident in what they post on the forums. But I guess I just needed to see the "actions are louder" than words part in person.

People can change.It takes an awful lot of strength and determination to make those changes, no matter which "side" you started out on.

Tuesday tantrum

This isn't going to be all that big of a tantrum. If I could have posted around 1 pm today, it would have been a full-out kicking and screaming tantrum. But it's been a long day. It's late. I'm tired. No energy to stomp my feet and yell tonight.

I hate going to my job. I'm dreading tomorrow. I dislike being put in the position where I'm blamed for things that aren't my fault. Did I mention I hate going to work?

yeah, this is a bit more of a whiny tantrum than a temper tantrum. sigh.

Monday music

everyone's got a dark side....

what an awesome weekend!

Fabulous company, excellent food, even the weather cooperated and was good. the only bad part of it was that it had to end. going to work tomorrow sure is going to be tough...

TGIF

It's my Friday off. Woohoo! I planned way in advance to have this particular Friday off, because of plans I have for the weekend, but boy howdy it couldn't have worked out better. This was one of those weeks when 4 days of work felt like 7 days, at least. I'm so ready for a longer than 2 day break.

And I get to spend this weekend with my sweetheart, and with really good friends. some whom I've never met before. lol