had one of those moments today

ya know, one of those moments of clarity, when something from the past suddenly makes so much more sense, now that you have the proper context to put it in.

I really dislike that I got played for such a fool by the ex, but my moment of clarity also makes me suspect that at least some of ex's co-workers considered him the fool, instead. 

"cheated but not a cheater"

It's funny, in the not funny sense of the word, the lengths people will go to in order to feel better about themselves.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen that phrase "I cheated but I'm not a cheater."  To all those people, um yeah, you are. Once you cheat, that makes you a cheater. No matter what you want to think, there's no erasing that.

There's moving forward. There's dealing with the aftermath. There's consequences. There's counseling and learning better coping mechanisms and skills. There might even be forgiveness. But there are no do-overs. The line has been crossed. Once you cheat, you're a cheater.

Does what they did have to follow the cheater for the rest of their lives? Maybe, maybe not. Guess that's up to the cheater. But it should, because how else can that person become someone who won't cheat again, unless they're conscious of the fact and accepting that they're a cheater in the first place?

long distance relationships

Sometimes they suck more than usual.  Today would be one of those times. :(

sanctuary, or abyss?

“If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Lately I've been wondering if the sanctuary I found to help me deal with and heal from my now ex-husband's infidelity has become an abyss I need to climb out of. 

Welcome 2011

I've been waiting for you to get here. You're going to be an awesome year.