Thanksgiving, then and now

4 years ago, Thanksgiving 2007, if I had only known what to look for, the red flags were flying all over the place.

In September 2007, we had gone out of state to the memorial service for now-ex's grandmother. After the service the conversation became about how we (extended family) had only been getting together for funerals, or so it seemed. Ex's aunt commented about how it would be nice to get together for a holiday, instead. Ex said he really did want to visit her, and see the property she had bought. So I made the suggestion that maybe we could come for a visit for that Thanksgiving. Ex really seemed to like that idea, so I went one step farther and volunteered to do the cooking, at his aunt's house.

2 months later, we're making this trip, and it seems like a major inconvenience to ex. He didn't help me get ready for the trip (I was packing up not only food, but small kitchen appliances to bring). He didn't even seem like he wanted to go, and all I wanted was a little help, and some appreciation for doing this for him.

We ended up sniping at each other for most of the trip. Somehow, it seemed to be my fault, too.

I didn't find out about him cheating until Sept 2008. But armed with plenty of knowledge from SI, and hindsight, it's obvious some stage of his affair had started by then, and ex was resenting me for having to spend the holiday with his family. 

Anyway, it's 4 years later. I don't know what the hell ex will be doing for Thanksgiving, and I don't really care. I do think he will be somewhere really missing my cooking, though.lol Otoh, I will be enjoying a wonderful Thanksgiving feast with my kids, my mom, and my boyfriend (who, btw, has already told me to put him to work in the kitchen tomorrow).

It's such a contrast. I usually try not to compare. Probably not too successfully, but I do try. Anyway, I'm sitting at work today, bored, with way too much time to think. I kind of wondered why Thanksgiving isn't a trigger for me, given what I know now. But I've decided that it doesn't matter.

What does matter is that I'm thankful for what I have, the people in my life, and for how far I've come in the past 4 years.

Life is good. :)  Happy Thanksgiving!