honestly, I don't know why I keep expecting better behavior from him. you'd think by now it would be deeply ingrained in my brain to have the lowest of low expectations. but somehow, when it comes to our kids, I still somehow expect the grand poobah of fuckery to do what's right.
inevitably, that doesn't happen.
I went from being angry about it earlier today, to just kind of numb, to kinda depressed.
how could I possibly have ever thought this selfish, sorry excuse for a man would be a good father? the only reason he was any type of father at all when we were married was because I created opportunities and nagged/pushed him into them. well, at least in the last 10 years of the marriage. when the kids were small, their dad seemed much more engaged in being a dad.
and now he's this...grand poobah of fuckery...
his kids seem to neither like nor respect him. one of them has even said how stupid his dad is.
so once again, I'm being the parent, doing damage control, and making sure my kids are okay.
inevitably, that doesn't happen.
I went from being angry about it earlier today, to just kind of numb, to kinda depressed.
how could I possibly have ever thought this selfish, sorry excuse for a man would be a good father? the only reason he was any type of father at all when we were married was because I created opportunities and nagged/pushed him into them. well, at least in the last 10 years of the marriage. when the kids were small, their dad seemed much more engaged in being a dad.
and now he's this...grand poobah of fuckery...
his kids seem to neither like nor respect him. one of them has even said how stupid his dad is.
so once again, I'm being the parent, doing damage control, and making sure my kids are okay.
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