this whole week sucked...

I am finally feeling better today, but man was this week tough.

I'm coming up on the 2 year mark of when ex walked out on the kids and me, and it's triggering me a lot more than I expected it would. It's not even about him. Not really. It's not about missing ex, or caring about him, or wanting him in my life. I truly cannot picture that man as part of my life anymore.

No, this is about the feelings of being abandoned, of my children being walked out on by their own father, who couldn't see beyond his own selfishness to say goodbye and offer explanations or apologies before he went to work one day, and never came home again. It's about the WTF feelings - I mean really, who in the hell actually packs up their shit in secret, goes off the work after kissing his wife goodbye and telling her he loves her, all while planning to never come home again? It's just all so stereotypical and cliche that it can't help but make you go...WTF?, right?

Anyway, I finally released some of what I was feeling in words last night, and it made a big difference. Today was a better day.