I started to answer a post on SI about effort, and my reply quickly turned into an "it's all about me" response, when it should have been about the person who posted in the first place. So I decided to post here what I was going to reply there. Because here really is all about me. lol
and I started my reply:
yep, sure can. :grin:
I'm not saying divorce is your answer. Only you can make that call. I am saying that divorce is not the end of the world.
I will also say that I thought I had a decent marriage, until the day my life imploded. It wasn't a great marriage, but I wasn't unhappy.
At least that's what I thought, until ex left and I had time to step back from everything and process and think. Turns out the marriage really wasn't hadn't been all that good for a long time and I hadn't been as happy in it as I liked to think I was. Don't get me wrong. I was mostly happy with my life. But I hadn't been getting the emotional support from the marriage that marriages are supposed to have.
Had ex not left, I would have stayed married to him for the rest of my life. I also would never have found out what I was missing out on.
And now that I have the kind of relationship where I have that emotional support, where I am clearly a priority, where what I feel and what I think matters, I can't for the life of me figure out how I stayed in my marriage as long as I did, and did without this.
Divorce might not seem like it's the answer we want, but sometimes it ends up being the answer we need.
The SI poster said: I can still be positive and be divorced, huh?
and I started my reply:
yep, sure can. :grin:
I'm not saying divorce is your answer. Only you can make that call. I am saying that divorce is not the end of the world.
I will also say that I thought I had a decent marriage, until the day my life imploded. It wasn't a great marriage, but I wasn't unhappy.
At least that's what I thought, until ex left and I had time to step back from everything and process and think. Turns out the marriage really wasn't hadn't been all that good for a long time and I hadn't been as happy in it as I liked to think I was. Don't get me wrong. I was mostly happy with my life. But I hadn't been getting the emotional support from the marriage that marriages are supposed to have.
Had ex not left, I would have stayed married to him for the rest of my life. I also would never have found out what I was missing out on.
And now that I have the kind of relationship where I have that emotional support, where I am clearly a priority, where what I feel and what I think matters, I can't for the life of me figure out how I stayed in my marriage as long as I did, and did without this.
Divorce might not seem like it's the answer we want, but sometimes it ends up being the answer we need.
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